Lobster mini-season

Every year in the Florida Keys, there is a lobstering ‘mini-season’.  For a 3 day window, fisherman are able to catch lobsters about a month before the full season opens up.  I was in high school, and my friends Doug and Joel asked if I wanted to go with them.  I said of course, it sounded awesome!  What I found out was that Florida lobsters do not have claws like Maine lobsters we’re accustomed to seeing.  Florida lobsters are very spiny and don’t have big claws, but the tail meat is still just as delicious.

So, we woke up early on Saturday morning, hopped in the truck, and drove down to the Keys, getting there by about 8am.  After trying a few different spots, we found that either we didn’t know the best places to go, or that all of the spots had already been ‘fished out’.  You see, as the ‘mini-season’ began on ‘Saturday’, the hardcore fishermen would actually begin fishing at midnight!  With flashlights, you’re able to shine the light underwater to catch the reflection of the lobster’s eyes.

After trying a spot without having any luck, we’d hop in the truck and drive a few miles to another spot and get in the water.  It wasn’t until about the 3^rd or 4^th try that we actually started catching lobsters.  While snorkeling, you’re able to find a lobster underwater, shoo him out from under the rock, and catch him in your mesh bag or just in your gloved hands.  After catching a lobster, Doug and Joel showed me ‘the proper technique’ to twist the body and the tail in separate directions, separating the two in a horrible kind of ‘Indian burn’.  They told me to keep the tail and leave the body in the sand.  It was pretty gross.  We ended up catching 4 lobsters.

It’s important to mention that when you go lobstering, there’s a few laws that you need to follow.  First, you need to have a buoy.  As you’re snorkeling around in the ocean, the law requires you to have a bright orange buoy floating above you so that boats don’t run you over.  Next, you are required to have a license.  Just like fishing, you need to be registered through the state to have a permit to catch lobsters.  Finally, the lobsters you catch need to be over a minimum size if you want to keep them.  If they are too small/young, it is illegal to kill them. 

So, after we caught our 4 lobsters, we were walking back to the parked truck.  I didn’t see the state ranger until very late.  Luckily Joel and Doug saw him soon after we got out of the water and somehow managed to hide the tails in the fins and masks.  When we got to the truck a Florida Marine and Wildlife State Patrol officer was waiting for us. 

“Hey guys.  I didn’t see a buoy out there.  Where’s your buoy?”

“Uh, we don’t have a buoy.”

“No buoy? Ok, let’s see your permits”

“We don’t have permits either”

“No buoy or permits?!  So what did you catch?”

I forget whether he searched our stuff, or if my friends offered him the evidence, but he ended up with only 1 of our 4 tails.  He measured the tail and it was just under legal size.

“Guys, this lobster was too young to catch.  Paired with not having a buoy or permit, you’re looking at about a $10,000 fine.”

I gulped.  He continued.

“So who caught it?”

All three of us balked and turned into a Three Stooges act. 

“Uh, I think you caught it, right Joel?”
“No, I think Johnson caught it, right?”
“I didn’t catch it, I thought it was Doug!”

“Well come on.  If you only caught one lobster, who caught it?" the officer said.  "All three of you didn’t put your hands on it at the same time, did you?”

The officer took down our names, and told us to go home.  We weren’t sure what that meant for us in the future, but for the moment we were free and had three delicious lobster tails to barbeque for dinner.

That Monday afternoon I walked into the trainers office to have my ankle taped before after-school practice. 

“Hey Alex, there was a state trooper in here earlier looking for you”  Will the trainer said.

“What?!”

“Yeah, he was asking around saying something about a lobstering incident and a felony with a warrant out for your arrest??  Holy shit, what did you do this weekend?”

At this point I was shitting my pants.  How would I explain this to my parents?  I started to reel and swiveled towards the door.  Then, through the window, I could see both Joel and Doug watching the scene inside unfold, laughing their asses off.  I saw them and then looked back at Will.

“Sorry man- they put me up to it”.

I almost puked.