Free Writing, (spring '10)

Cardaloom ran along the side of the canal, testing his balance and coordination- the patches of spring snow providing just enough of a challenge without making it a bad bet. The sidewalk curved away from the water and he followed the path, deciding it was a good time to stop the game anyways. He was ahead, so he had won, and he wondered if anyone had seen his display of agility.

After his cellphone had fallen out of his pocket and broke a week ago, Cardaloom was enjoying this newfound freedom and detachment from the pace of 'plugged-in society'...

Bennet couldn't sleep. He stared at his wall, playing that afternoon's scene in the flower shop over and over in his mind. He cursed the flowers and their colors, he cursed his anniversary, and he cursed himself. Maybe, he hopefully thought, if it was under different circumstances, he would've hit that guy. Toughts of saving the day, beating up the bad guy, being the hero, were met with memories of reality. His fists clenched underneath the covers.

A few years ago, one of Bennet's friends was drunk at a bar and called Bennet on the phone. He called Bennet a pussy and asked him how he ever managed to score such a hot wife. Anger washed over him, but it didn't manage to work its way to his mouth, allowing only stuttering and nervous laughter. That night, after making love to his wife, Bennet cried.

Carl T. Pasen was working a double into the the night shift. Again. Second time in two weeks. A horrible way to get by, he thought. Needing the extra hours for a bit of his own money after paying child-support, this heavy schedule left him tired and withdrawn whenever he was allowed to see his son...

Sometime in the near future...

I'm a blues musician,

I drive stunt cars.

I'm a forest-fire skydiver,

I've written award winning books

on media, technology,

and their effects on culture and society.

I have a marble kitchen

and make fancy dishes that

have more furnishings than food.

I'm an ad slogan fucking genius-

agencies pay me G's by the hour.

How to Fight a Ghost, (poem)

How to fight a ghost?

Try to forgive those in his path

through prayer and love.

Stay strong

in body, mind, and heart

through faith.

So that when it comes time to fight,

the skills and grace that Jesus has given us in conquering evil

are not taken for granted.

Lift with the frustration of not understanding God's plan,

leaving only the peace to accept it

with a full heart and clear mind.

Love your brothers and sisters in Christ,

as Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

no matter how much they catch your eye.

Do not allow yourself to drink in excess,

for the ghost smiles when you wake up with regrets.

Even a Misspelled Word Is Never Learned, (poem)

Another night not remembered

fills a whole week of poor decisions.

I started to read a book called 'Distraction',

but put it down for a quick fix of rich media.

Woke up next to her this morning

and said to myself,

'Fuck it, and fuck me, baby',

I've already gone this deep anyways.

A million things flying and recieved,

a million unsorted and lost.

-Even a misspelled word is never learned.

If it's not heavy metal these days,

I'd prefer silence.

Who has time to pray when there's Facebook?

God, I'll get to you, just let me get just one quick look.

Religion seems like an old hobby.

I miss Him. I miss her.

Birth of 'The Ant', (poem), 7/08

Smoldering doggies on the grills

smokes and into these lungs fill

an ease to become easy.

Offering salad, wings, and shots

the girls are international,

curious.

But so soon after my resolve

to enter the fight in the arena,

how quickly a hurdle is hit.

Came clean today,

kneeling behind a screen,

hours later a tiny temptation

is a tiny scream.

-Forcing off the autopilot

into the disciplined motivation

of an ant.

I can't go back to that standstill,

I will make moves with You.

I will fight through each lie.

and looking for a rut

to run smoothly in after hours, days,

weeks, and tears.

Sweet Tooth, (poem), 6/08

The devil whispers sugary silk.

So easily undetected,

blended into everyday life,

persistant as hell.

But we never feel him nagging.

God, on the other hand, is seen as more of a present nuisance,

piping up when we're about to knowledgeably sin,

creating a cognitive dissonance,

a civil war.

He is not seen as a savior, but a burden.

Shallow Pan, (poem), 5/08

You go this way,

you do that,

while I sit here

and dream a sincere questionable loss

to acknowledge what's edging a glacier

from its natural habitat.

My solid ice melts

with your sun of understanding,

quieting a once powerful, furious force,

stumping the branches of a blossoming bush,

leaving a king without a horse,

wondering what they have

that lags you behind.

Watching them rush forward.

Can't collect on a pan too shallow.

Try to drop in some sense,

they turn to marshmallows,

and puff out the depository until it suffocates.

It's campfires and woodland words to express a man's dumb, honest struggle

to give up himself knowledgeably in something he finds True.

Lunch, (poem), 10/05

A short slumber's dream
Still lingers and fingers intrigue,
Confusing perceived reality past
With idealistic
And productive situations,
Yet pertaining to my original regret.

Although scattered and rushed,
Preparation seemed sufficient
For that test that made me sweat.

A quest for knowledge. Wisdom.
A deep desire to understand the mind and self
Is compromised by a surface-level lust.

'Organization' and 'control'
can calm and persuade
that we don't live on a planet spinning like a top,
throwing promises and ideas around like wedding's rice.
Questioning reality and 'where is the Truth that I should trust?'

A cloth hood that hides society,
The wrong pair of glasses nearsightedness,
And a conscience that struggles to find and focus on a core sentence
That will bring me to Enlightenment.

An all-you-can-eat trade of Aderol for painkillers,
A bagel sandwich, green tea exchange of worries, remedies, and lessons learned,
And a reheated quesadilla session on the love of Jesus Christ
As lunch is revealing itself as the meal
To fill up on life.

The metaphor of an airplane's swaying autopilot
Somewhat explains the feeling of progress minus relapse,
But it infers that I've shut off my consciousness and will
To rely on the structure of the world.

Funny- how the light of the day
And smell of the wind
Helps open the mind to
The flowing and natural, outside Earth,
From the emotional, erratic, and unknown universe inside my head.

Holy Imperfections, (poem), 11/06

People make such a big deal
when priests get caught in some scandal.
They believe it's a bigger deal if a pastor buys crystal meth
than anyone else.
They see holy people as perfect humans,
unable to have flaws
and make mistakes.
Everyone forgets,
no human is perfect.
Everyone is flawed.
Only God is perfect.
Even the Cardinal,
on his deathbed,
might father a child.
Even the Pope goes to confession.
The misunderstanding comes from our perception
of holiness, I think.
That just because he can forgive
and preach goodness of God,
that he is unable to fall into sin.
We forget that some of the most high-held saints
were once the most low-life sinners.
But for the faithful and strong,
we must not forget-
we are all brothers and sisters of God,
All struggling to fully face the shine of His light.

None perfect.
None better than another.
A unity of imperfections

lifting each other up.

Sex, Scandal, and Severe Weather: Twisting Up a Passive Mass

When does 'freedom of speech' clash with 'inciting a riot'? Sure, we're free to speak liberally in this country, but without respect to the responsibility each of us have to speak the Truth, where does it end? Ulterior motives, politics, and demonstrating our First Amendment merely for the sake of crying foul at any out-lash are all petty, immature, and selfish. There are many people who watch, listen, and read without critically thinking and can, if one chooses, be smoothly persuaded to move as an angry mob.

"He's taught in his school
From the start by the rule
That the laws are with him
To protect his white skin
To keep up his hate
So he never thinks straight
'Bout the shape that he's in
But it ain't him to blame
He's only a pawn in their game."

-Only a Pawn In Their Game, Bob Dylan

Been cookin

I've been cooking a lot lately!

*Pesto Pizza with fried eggplant!

*Sweet potato fries with brown sugar, cinnamon, and cajun seasoning!

*Mushroom Hodge-Podge with Olive Pesto Crustini (Mario Batali's)

*Cod Lyonaisse

*Steamed artichokes with lemon/butter dipping sauce and peanut, ginger, soy dipping sauce

*Cajun chicken stew

*Chicken Tikka-Masala

*Coconut Soup

*traditional Indian Dal

*traditional Indian Saag

*Vegetable Samosas

*lasagne with homemade red sauce

I love food.

Finding His Animal, Fiction, Part 1

He stands below moss covered roots, rising up from the ground, some as big as cars. Looking up the hill of the forest, he is silent. Still. Hunting.

The peyote had caused him to vomit for an hour or more, but he viewed the sickness as an expungance of innocence and ignorance. The end of a life provided by, the beginning of a life provided for. Colors enriched, sounds acute. He would become an animal here.

Drop in the sea

The knowledge of 'being part of something larger' (God's plan/gift from God) isn't fortified by increasingly personal and individual society and culture. Personal computers, accounts, phones, custom shoes... What supports the idea of a selfless world? What supports the idea of being a servant to others and humbly contributing to 'the whole'? Why and/or when do we feel compelled to act for 'the greater good'?

Media Technology, Part 2: Consequences

Our world does not seem very far off from becoming a futuristic science fiction novel. Upon viewing the REAL world through our own eyes, we might see as many people who are plugged into their iPhones or Blackberries today, getting their digital fix through sunglasses and earpieces. People will be moving their hands in front of them- a silent charade of air guitar and wiggly fingers- collecting, creating, sharing data and entertainment through a screen only visible to them. People will become even more efficient in their digital lives, but like we can already see in today’s world, much more disconnected with their natural reality. The pleasure received from putting on these glasses and instantly being connected to ‘the matrix’ will be extraordinary and people will not understand its long-term effects and consequences, just as many don’t with our current personal computer devices. The same as we see today from video games, ipods, and mobile web access, people become ADD- lazy in physical or mental hard work but superspeed with digital work or entertainment-, more removed from their fellow man (following them on facebook does not count), and less and less reflective and peaceful in God’s nature.

Although I myself often wish I had an iPhone to download a million of the new applications, believing that they can improve my life’s scheduling/efficiency/productivity, humor, or entertainment, I’ve been resisting the temptation. Call me ‘oldschool’ or a skeptic, that’s fine- I’m sure I am that in today’s society. But, I see 95% of the people on the T either on the phone, texting someone, playing a mobile game, or plugged into their iPods and it freaks me out. We have become so ‘connected’ to this digital world. The capabilities of today’s technology can allow users to be more independent, but come with a feeling and reality of isolation, whether the user knows it or not. I see conspiracy theories of someone like Apple or Google manipulating us into more than just 'needing' more of their product, complete with a classic villain with his hand on a master switch.

Yes, its ironic that I actually work in a digital media industry while saying all this. As someone who assists brands explore new ways to digitally target different audiences, I may be one of the very people causing our society and culture to become more plugged in and utterly dependent on their Smartphone. I guess I rationalize this cognitive dissonance with 2 things: first, that the brands I work for and the ways we're targeting their audience doesn't seem to be detrimental to our culture (I generally just place ads on website and newsletters for Harvard Business School and Rite Aid Pharmacy) The second rationalizing tool is the hope that people know that too much TV and connectivity isn't always the most positive thing and that it is important to go 'off the grid' every now and then. However, when I see the whole train in their own digital world, I think this hope might be in vain. Ideally, I'd like to be able to understand and grow in this industry enough to where I may be able to work with these technologies, but use them for positive intentions. It's a tough idea to wrap your mind around though, when you think that it may be the technologies themselves that's doing the harm.

Media Technology, Part 1: Augmented Reality, ideas for the future

Augmented Reality (AR) mobile application facial recognition allows people to hold up their Smartphones and see icons floating around anyone someone’s head! So, you can pass someone on the street, hold up your iPhone to them, and it will search websites (flickr, facebook, etc.) for their pictures. Once its pinpointed that person, through your iphone video camera, you’ll be able to see icons of, for example, their LinkedIn profile, Facebook profile, business card, etc ‘floating’ above and around their head. Wild, right?

See

http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/augmented_id_augmented_reality_facial_recognition.php

So how about if a brand, say Tommy Hilfiger for example, invited people to pull the TH logo onto their displayed ‘floating’ icons. “Are you Polo? Then show the world!” Some campaign like that. So then, you have people becoming their own personal racecar hoods/doors, with many different logos and brands associated with that individual person! Creepy.

From that, maybe that brand could be collecting photos of people on the street that have opted-in to the brand’s floating logo. If a particularly attractive man or woman was found wearing that product’s clothes and captured in an appealing pose, maybe Brand X could contact that person saying, ‘You have what it takes to be a Banana Republic model! We’d love to use this photo of you for future ads. Click here if you’d like to be our next BR model and we’ll send you $100” or something like that. I’d imagine the legal terms on using this person’s likeness/ image would be miles deep, but- basically you’d be allowing everyone in the world to feel like a model for their favorite brands.

Also, people will be able to take on Augmented Reality personalities much more so than they currently do in RPGs like Second Life or World of Warcraft. A member of these games will be able to create an avatar for themselves, to be seen by someone else through AR. So, when a AR screen recognizes another person, the user will not see the human, but that person’s character (ex. A wizard or warrior, etc.). Through the screen, we could potentially be walking around in ‘cartoon-world’ in just a few years. What also might be neat/possible is to alter someone’s voice through their selected avatar. This would require someone using an AR screen to also have AR headphones, although I’m not sure if these have been created yet. So, the person choosing a wizard or warrior or whatever might decide that his avatar has a deep, scary, Scottish accent for example. Along with selecting the look of his character, he would also be able to select a voice that would be digitally rendered through the AR headphones. Wow. Again, very creepy stuff here that seems like it might be possible and not too far away.

Augmented Reality will also be able to take off from the new ‘tablet’ technologies from Apple or Freescale. Rather than have an actual electric screen, soon we will be able to carry around a small, lightweight board with a computer system inside, but no screen. Through AR glasses, we will be able to see a screen projected onto this flat board and even be able to interact with the image itself. The glasses will sense our hand movements on specific keys, links, or tools and, after a few versions to perfect the technology, will become very natural and ‘real’ for the user. The next phase a few years down the road after this is being able to carry around a computer on your shoulder or backpack, while no tablet at all is needed. With our redesigned AR glasses, we will be able to project a ‘screen’ in front of our eyes. We will be able to push and pull windows and tools, applications and programs, ‘keyboards’ and ‘mouses’ in and out of our line of vision, everything in front of us interactive. People will be able to look at each other’s ‘screens’ by looking at another person’s AR glasses and syncing up (much like the iPhone bump). Then, both glasses will be able to view the same AR screen.